Nice “Ad People” and the reality
Mad Men (and Women.) But as I discovered mostly men.
I pen, well type, from Tobermory as Storm Darragh lashes against the patio windows. Claire is in Killin to be with old school friends enduring a drive that saw a trapped jack knifed lorry and VW car in snow; and I can now breath a sigh of relief after speaking to her.
I looked briefly at LinkedIn, which I now lump under the category of “time wasting social media” and rued my doing so as I saw a post by an individual who I don’t have a great deal of respect for. I did in the olden days but watched him corrupted over time by what he believed in himself to the point of his becoming detached from reality and sadly his empathy and love for people, with career and Mamon becoming his Gods.
I was also tasted bile as he was sat at my old University in Lancaster??!!
I bemoaned his being there as it is one of my sacred places, but I recognised he was there for one of his children who I realised is studying there, which is fair enough.
The emotion passed but I learnt from it. I remembered anger is a natural emotion to be welcomed and it is a question of what you do with it. I cannot change the fact I came across on LinkedIn a person who is a not so nice person, and more so when they dress themselves up as being a) nice, b) God’s gift to digital advertising.
All I can do is keep my side of the street clean. He has to live with himself and his “dirty hands”.
Please note that I have not provided hypertext links to external content to encourage people to have a good root around as to what’s on the Web.
People, Places, Things
In the life I have had with a career in advertising I have come across people who have “worked me over”, “taken advantage”, and less politely “screwed me over”. (One of which I just refered to having seen a post on LinkedIn.)
It was and is the nature of working in the advertising, marketing, and media trades.
It is the nature of working in senior leadership roles.
It is the nature of an exponential career rise, as was the case for me.
And it’s not just people who go drive you insane, hurt you, stitch you up, lie and the rest. Places and things can also bring out strong emotions in you; maybe a place you worked at, or something like a project for example you were involved in, or an event and happening that still stings.
Advice on the Past, the Future, the Present. (People, Places, Things.)
People, places, and things can drive you nuts if you let them. And what can often be forgotten is where they sit contextually in time, be it past, present, future. And this is important for the generation of emotions, of how we react, our very mental wellbeing.
The first thing you must always do is look only to yourself and what you are thinking, feeling, and therefore behaving. You only have control over yourself.
In having control over yourself you focus on your side of the street. Using whatever method of goal (dreaming) and plan setting to achieve what you want out of life.
Perform a SWOT analysis and also look at how you function (point 7.) With SWOT you want to get an idea of who you are, where you’ve been, and where you are currently going.
Also look at the Johari Window.
There are four core or recognised self evaluation maintenance models, for example Gibbs or Tesser. Best bet if you want to evaluate yourself is to read up on them.
Bring all you observations as to self together in one consummate reading. This way you’ll have a feel for where you sit as a person.
How you function or act must also be examined as well. This was touched on at point 3. A good way to look at how you function is to read from Stephen Covey and learn about his Quadrants of Time Management. Are you in Quadrant 2 and being effective with your time? The point simplistically is to ask, “am I working smart?”, “am I working effectively?”
You NOW HAVE a full evaluation of who you are and how you act. This is your side of the street that you can work on.
Back now to people, places, and things. Through working on self you are able to indirectly control how external people, places, and things (events included) affect you. You can never control them directly and this is a bridge of understanding and awareness you have to cross, and yet so few of us do, and waste time focusing on other people and things as we try to control them. Imagine yourself as the theatre director putting on the show; do you actually control all, or merely exist within the show guiding where necessary? Do you really control your actors for example? Really and truly? Well the answer is no.
Yon only really control your fate via control of your own mindset and action; and from the past work you have put into self.
The plain old fact of life is you cannot control other things including people, but you can influence via self-management. And this is a crucial learning that I only recently accepted and implemented. I wish I’d done this sooner. But high achievers and driven people achieve up to a point through control, but the truly successful ones are those actually let go of trying to control and work on self - it is counter intuitive.
And that my friends is the trick. And with it comes serenity because one is not burdened down by other people, places, and things. You only have to focus on number one. This does not mean you travel through life in isolation. You have to interact. But paradoxically you gain more control by letting go of concerns, whether past, present, or yet to come (maybe.)
With this learning I was able to leave a certain person to his own fate and not worry about his popping up at Lancaster University. I am able to know who I am, am comfortable and happy with myself, and make amends where necessary. I have achieved in my own way. I wonder if he is really happy at all what he has done in his life. But that is not my worry any longer.
Don’t waste your time on other people, places, and things.
“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested. But when it is wasted in heedless luxury and spent on no good activity, we are forced at last by death’s final constraint to realize that it has passed away before we knew it was passing. So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it… Life is long if you know how to use it.”
Seneca in his letter to Paulinus.
Sunday morning after Storm Darragh passed through.